20. My restlessness and the four Phases of Life
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Have I been too restless or not dedicated enough to one specific
field of enquiry ? There is perhaps some truth in that, but mainly I
believe it is something else. In retrospect it is quite clear that I
have strongly followed through on, and reflected, the main four
emotional and mental phases (as discussed on April 13) of my life.
This is undoubtedly why I have been able to recognise them so
clearly in the first place. Others, with a more stable life pattern,
may have experienced these phases in a much less pronounced fashion,
perhaps with gradual transitions rather than sharp boundaries
separating them.
During my Materialistic Phase I was a Geologist, while during my
Creative Phase I became a musician and music educator. Now in my
Reflective Phase my former passion for music has receded to a pleasant
pastime, while I focus on wider (and sometimes deeper) issues
concerning life and the world (to a large degree catalysed and
crystallised through my thinking and writing for this Blog).
This restlessness, constant need to change, to move forward, is
stabilised, and separated into segments, by sustained periods of
physical (but not mental) laziness (thank goodness for that). I also
see now very clearly that this recurring pattern is present at all
time levels of my existence.
At the time frame of my life as a whole, the pattern (as shown
above) is clear for all to see. At the time span of a single year,
like next year for example, my physical movements, give or take a
couple of weeks, will probably be something like :
Sunshine
Coast (4 months) - Darwin (3 months) - Europe (2
months) - Darwin (3 months)
Within each period of rest I don't move about much, but I establish
certain routines in order to create a bond with the
environment I am in.
Here on the Mango farm near Darwin I experience at present a wonderful
period of the utmost peace and tranquility. But deep inside I can
slowly feel the adrenalin building up in anticipation of the 4-5 days
drive through inland Australia on my way to the Sunshine Coast (in SE
Queensland).
When in Europe this pattern is repeated, but at shorter time
spans. I may for example be in :
Sankt
Peter (7 days) -
Bernkastel (7 days) -
Boppard
(2 days) - Altenahr (5 days) -
etc.
In each of these locations I develop set bonding routines, like a
daily walk, contemplation on a bench, visit and talk to people at an
Imbiss, pub, restaurant, hotel. I rarely do any "touristy things"
wherever I am. It does not reflect real life at the place and its community.
In Australia too within each single otherwise quiet day there is a
point, often around lunch time, when I must get out to satisfy my
restless nature. My son in law Doug (who too has done many different things
in his life) is a man who pocesses great tranquility. He can
quietly remain at home at ThreePonds for days on end, only going out when he
absolutely has to for buying food or for an other errant. I can
not do that, I must get out, even if it is for only half an hour or
so. Once I have done that I am fine for the rest of the day.
Even when it comes to the very small time frame of my nightly reading, my restless need for change
has a hand in proceedings. On my bedside table is always a pile of
half a dozen books or so. Depending on my mood I may select first one,
then (more often than not) after reading a bit switch over to another
book. Perhaps other people do this too, I don't know, but it is quite
typical for my reading habits.
Having recently finished a few I have just added two new books to the
pile. One is "Tender is the Night" by F.Scott Fitzgerald I
found in one of the boxes in my van. I started on this book before,
but unlike "The Great Gatsby" which I absolutely loved, I only got
halfway through this one. But as Ernest Hemingway observed
(as printed on the back cover) : "A strange
thing is that in retrospect "Tender is the Night" is getting better
and better." That is certainly what I find this time around,
but it is important to be in the right patient and observant frame of mind to
read this book. Something which was certainly not the case with me the
first time I started it.
The other new addition is a copy of Richard Dawkins' book "A
Devil's Chaplain" (purchased at Dymocks after my usual Wednesday Sushi lunch in Casuarina). It consists of a selection of Dawkins' essays on a
wide range of topics. I am quite interested (and in fact pleased) to
see he is having at least in one of his essays a crack at what he
calls the pseudo philosophers (on the definition of "truth" for example). I have observed too that so
called philosophy can (and sometimes does) easily degenerate into
absolute trifling trivial bollocks. Good on him.
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